things I struggled as a freelancer

Things I Struggled as a Freelancer

It’s not money, or finding work.

In fact, I enjoyed the process of it and took it as a challenge. However, the one thing I couldn’t overcome was loneliness.

At the second half of this year, my relationship was not going well. It wasn’t my fault, but my partner had a tough time and didn’t know if I was the right choice. And at that time of struggles, I pulled the trigger and just said I needed a break from all of it because I truly did not deserve what was going on.

Being an Introvert did not help after that break up. It was then that my life suddenly felt like an empty space with me in it – all day, everyday and I could not find a way to speak out how I felt when I needed to. My partner had office colleagues, school friends but for me I really had no one close or to trust.

Everyday I focused on work, read books and watch YouTube Vlogs to pass the day quickly. Then when I wake up, I would maybe go for a swim because it was therapy to me. Then I realised, maybe I should set goals to make myself happy. Doing routine work is alright, but I get a great boost of confidence when I accomplish something.

A shift to a growth mindset is key.

The thing is, currently Im in a situation that’s still ‘lonely’ – the only people close to me are my family. However, my emotions are at peace and positive. I am happy when I think of my next travel, the new thing I learned in Javascript or reading Bogle’s books. Also, I realised that reading is powerful – as though a friend is speaking to you through a book – and that gave me a sense that I’m not alone.

No doubt the struggle was so real that I even thought if I should forgo my high income to work in a company again – just so that I have some social interaction. I knew that I had to find a way out of this rabbit hole and I thank God that my soul is finding more peace than it was a month ago.

So, if you’re as freelancer or remote worker – I guess you might have heard people say how great this life is! But truthfully it’s a journey that will have unexpected twist and turns that you have to be prepared for. I hope through my story, you will find some encouragement 🙂

And if you’re struggling in any way, please do not hesitate to talk to someone or even me – send an email!

Further Readings:

  1. How Modern Loneliness is Impacting Mental Health

Your friend,


Tracey Wong

Digital Product Designer based in Kuala Lumpur.

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